It isn’t only the students of Class X who heaved a sigh of
relief (or a cry of dismay, depends) when their results came out on Thursday. It was ‘result time’ for their parents too. The parents, in fact, are often more wound up about how their kids have fared and more relieved when it’s over, having gone through the same deprivation and pressure during prep time.No TV – for mom too, not just the kids!
During the board exams, parents enforce unspoken curfews and restrictions at home – moms somehow convince themselves not to watch their favourite TV serials, kitty parties are sacrificed, and papa makes a point not to go to any office party till the end of the exams. After all, kuch mahine ki hi toh baat hai, they say. “The year before last, when my older son was appearing for the board exams, we were quite normal. But his result was not as good as we expected. Many in our friends’ circle also chided us for not giving the proper ‘atmosphere’ at home.
Therefore, this year, we stopped everything. Neither did we invite anyone to our home, nor did we go out,” says Vineeta Kishore, whose younger son has scored a 9.2 CGPA in Class X. Another mother, whose daughter, Megha, has scored a 9.6 CGPA, says, “I stopped receiving calls because even calls create pressure. Kaisi taiyaari chal rahi hai, kitna layegi, kaun sa subject ho gaya are the most common questions your friends ask during your child’s board exam. I didn’t want them to know how my child was preparing. So I stopped taking their calls.”
Counsellors say parents need counselling
A surprising number of parents get an unsolicited lecture when they take their kid to the counsellor, not expecting to be told that they need counselling more than their child. “I was panicking more than my daughter was. In fact, at one point, I started crying because she was not studying. These children don’t understand how much pressure there is on us if they don’t do well. Log itni baat karne lagte hain. I had to take my daughter to a counsellor and he said I needed counselling, not my daughter! He might’ve been be right – my panicking could have led to her getting low scores. Now that she has scored a 9.8 CGPA, I am happy,” says Alka Pandey, a homemaker.
The parent trap: competition
All their nervousness isn’t only about how well their child does – it’s also about ‘what if Mr Sharma’s son scores more than my Pinki?’ or ‘what if Mrs Tripathi starts flaunting her son’s marks in the kitty party?’ Apparently, the results are sometimes more about competition between the parents. “It is a common thing to ask about children’s marks. And if your child scores better, then you become the star at get-togethers,” says Rakesh Singh, whose daughter did not get very high marks. “Last year, a colleague’s son did fairly well in the boards, and since then, this colleague’s been giving ‘tips’ to other people on how to prepare their kids for the boards. He still flaunts his son’s result. He thinks he gave the best facilities to his son,” says Sunaina Pandey, a parent.
Party time
Vineeta adds, “Now that the results are out, I think the self-imposed curfew helped my son score better. We are in party mode now. For the next three-four days, we’ll be partying.” Clearly, it’s not only the kids who need to let themselves go – after months of forced deprivation, parents also feel they deserve a break. “Children study hard and therefore, after the results, they party. I think parents also deserve to party because the tension and the fear over how your kid will do finally ends,” says Vikas Kumar, whose daughter scored an 8.7 CGPA.
Counsellors say parents need counselling
A surprising number of parents get an unsolicited lecture when they take their kid to the counsellor, not expecting to be told that they need counselling more than their child. “I was panicking more than my daughter was. In fact, at one point, I started crying because she was not studying. These children don’t understand how much pressure there is on us if they don’t do well. Log itni baat karne lagte hain. I had to take my daughter to a counsellor and he said I needed counselling, not my daughter! He might’ve been be right – my panicking could have led to her getting low scores. Now that she has scored a 9.8 CGPA, I am happy,” says Alka Pandey, a homemaker.
The parent trap: competition
All their nervousness isn’t only about how well their child does – it’s also about ‘what if Mr Sharma’s son scores more than my Pinki?’ or ‘what if Mrs Tripathi starts flaunting her son’s marks in the kitty party?’ Apparently, the results are sometimes more about competition between the parents. “It is a common thing to ask about children’s marks. And if your child scores better, then you become the star at get-togethers,” says Rakesh Singh, whose daughter did not get very high marks. “Last year, a colleague’s son did fairly well in the boards, and since then, this colleague’s been giving ‘tips’ to other people on how to prepare their kids for the boards. He still flaunts his son’s result. He thinks he gave the best facilities to his son,” says Sunaina Pandey, a parent.
Party time
Vineeta adds, “Now that the results are out, I think the self-imposed curfew helped my son score better. We are in party mode now. For the next three-four days, we’ll be partying.” Clearly, it’s not only the kids who need to let themselves go – after months of forced deprivation, parents also feel they deserve a break. “Children study hard and therefore, after the results, they party. I think parents also deserve to party because the tension and the fear over how your kid will do finally ends,” says Vikas Kumar, whose daughter scored an 8.7 CGPA.
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